torsdag, februari 23, 2012

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I find it hard to express myself sometimes.

So, in between tears and anger, I found myself typing furiously on my notebook. Ta da! A 3-pages long letter I handed to him that day when we met. We spent hours at the cafe - catching up over drinks. To some people; that probably mean nothing. But I like it. Somehow there's a sense of belonging whenever he's around. We acted silly; snapping vain photos of us together - never have I seen that childish side of him given the fact I've known him for, well, almost 10 years now.

We fought quite a bit the last weeks. I hate that he's so busy. I crave for his attention. I hate the fact he's always not physically there. But hey, that's me! It is part of being Taurean. Our signs are, apparently, not compatible - with him being a Gemini. Most things written about him and I are true. Not sure why I'm still around though.

He left again. This time 'round: he has a return ticket - unlike before. So he'll be away for just a week. I told him my 3-pages long letter is for him to keep himself entertained on board. But I bet he read it even before departure. Sneaky!

"I love you.. That's my answer.. Will give you a longer answer when we meet."

He texted me at pushback. I know he does. Sometimes I have doubts - but not so much anymore after knowing he has read the letter. I need the sense of stability, security. Things he lacks in giving. But I guess I should stop over-analyzing things and take it as it goes :)

I know he's not too fond of my current favorite "plane-hopping" pastime - and I guess I did do a lot of that these days. Mostly failing to let him know of my whereabouts. I know he's also not very fond of me going to Europe on my own. But at least I have asked if he'd like to join.

So definitely not my fault if his shitty job won't allow it :)


Ahhh ... Europe ...
I'm looking forward to see you again after these six long years.