Last week has been a long, tiring week.
It was a few days before my departure to Thailand that JC confessed he's seeing someone. I felt,
well, devastated. It's just so silly because I barely know him. I wanted to just cancel the trip; and not go there to see him - because at some point I felt bad of meeting up somebody who's trying to start a relationship with another person.
But the day before my flight; I decided - why the heck not.
One should just take the chance.
He was contemplating on the day of my departure. I was angry - mainly because I was looking forward to see him. I cried on the phone while talking to him. Yet another stupid thing I did on that day.
But I flew to Bangkok; and JC came to meet me at the airport anyway.
----------It was awkward the first time. But we had good conversation on our way to the
hotel.
I did a very last minute booking. We got upgraded to a Superior Suite (?) because the room I paid for were all fully booked. Unfortunately only on the 34th floor - which wasn't high enough for my liking :(
Very large room with a separate sitting area. Plus an awesome view of downtown Bangkok. So; alles goed - as I normally say in Dutch.
JC took me to a really nice restaurant called
Zanzibar on Sukhumvit Soi 11.
Very cosy place.
Very romantic setting. Very nice food too. I guess it is a perfect place for couples to go on night outs - which made me wish I have a boyfriend. Well, at least at that point of time - because the band was playing/singing some really lovely songs.
I had a fun weekend.
Really.
He brought me to a lot of nice restaurants. We went for spa + massage - which was really, really nice. I'd highly recommend
Dahra Spa on Silom Soi 18. A bit pricey but very well worth it :)
Then we went up to the 83rd floor and stuffed our face full with drinks while enjoying the very beautiful night view of Bangkok.
But I felt bad because he pretty much paid for everything as I didn't manage to take cash out of the ATMs and my credit cards are blocked.
Screw you Citibank!----------JC turned out to be the person I expected him to be. Everything I wish for - even before I flew to Bangkok. He made me feel comfortable. That I could be myself.
He held my hand while we were walking sometimes. He hugged me to sleep sometimes. The little things he did reminds me of someone very special. The little things he said left me feeling all tingly inside. Y'know; like having thousands of butterflies in your stomach.
I loved Lauri. But the very last time I felt this way was when Christoph and I were still dating.
I guess that explained why I got all teary eyed when we were at the skybar. I guess that was why I cried the whole way to the
airport.
----------I looked at JC sometimes - I knew he's feeling guilty.
I felt the same too. I asked him once; he shush-ed me and told me to not discuss it.
Over our conversation on Skype earlier I asked him if he likes me the same way he likes me online. His answers obviously weren't answering my questions. And he said we girls should be more confident about ourselves.
I like him. A lot. But I know it is not going anywhere - because I believe it is a one side thing.
[06/07/2009 9:52:22] C******** B***** says: I enjoy my stay here in Hua Hin yes.
[06/07/2009 9:52:34] C******** B***** says: more than ever at the moment.
He also once said every single cells in his body like her.
I know that is something he'll never say to me. And she is someone I can never compete with.
Over the weekend - he made me feel loved. He made me feel like I was part of a couple. I
definitely can't have him; but I'm happy I had him.
Even only for that very weekend.