My life is so messed up. I hate it.

I called Patrick yesterday night. He was being sweet about everything. Halfway through our conversation; I found myself sobbing over the phone. Not knowing why I cried in the first place. He gave me a lot of useful advices. At some point, I felt as if I'm having conversation with a much older person instead of a 23 y.o boy.

He said, referring to his girlfriend:

Bella always dreams of having her Prince Charming to take her away from all these mess. But I told her that Prince Charming comes in many forms, not just as a partner. But can also be your friends.

Patrick said I should figure out what I really want in life. That he's just a ring away should I need a person to talk to or just to listen to me.

Well, as for Rick, after almost three years - he is still that very same person I wish he is. Except now he's (I have to admit) better looking, more well built. We had good conversations over juices at The Apartment - talking nonsense and sharing stories about aviation. I like it. Not all the time I have someone knowledgeable about the field coming to visit.

I knew him when he was an aircraft engineer. And now, he's a pilot. How time flies..

He's going to be around here for the next three weeks or so. I would love to see him again. That's something very definite. But I doubt if he wants to see me.

I think it was that thing I said over lunch.